Today I'm going to say a crisis in the mid way of the PhD journey!! due to a life- work balance, I feel like I fail in this lesson. It's about 15 months on my way according to the the study, I can do a huge progress of my knowledge that I have no scared feeling like the first time any more. I have got a professional confidence, and I can be able to create successfully the self with kind support from my supervisors.
However, I can't manage a life balance !!!! since I have been here, my home, during the COVID- 19 out break. I have argument with my husband and my mom every single day and almost topics.
for my husband, as a couple- relationship, I can deal with him to walk to the further steps together easily because he always admit to who I am. May be we share the similar characteristics like the base of thoughts, it is therefore that it just a tiny gaps between us, and it's not too difficult to fix all different views.
But a big problem is the argument with my mom!!!!. as I have been talking previously every issue, and every day seems to be trublesome. I'm trying to identify a root cause for this. Yet, it can be seen confusig lke a spider net. The big thing that I can see is that "the dark side of my higher self confidence" I feel like my idea is the best!!! I know best!!! as you can see !!! the obvious evividence is my interesting experinces!!
This leads me to...... to be seen as a huge changing person. I feel unhappy...absolutely my mom also feels like me and I do concern about her emotions, but... but these are the truth, this is the real world Mom!! you have to change yourself, we have to catch up the chaning world. >>>> this is a sick thought of mine!!! It seems to be I want to change the world to orbit around me rather I have to accept the world and go long with it happily as i used to be.>>> this is the problem!!!
Today I ask her to take a short holliday by staying with my brother and my sister, in another province and please lettig me staying alone for a while>> luckily, I will be fixed the thoughts to acheive better situations . Absolutely, the reflection from my mom is that she complints about this as the break- up relationship between a couple. She looks sad to beasked to do so and I also have sympathy with her, bot it is the best choice right now. In my point, if ww are tired from a football game, we just take a short break by walking out from the feild and thinking about things that we have been done and thinking about what else that we need to do next. Indeed, this idea bases on the modern psychology of thoughts, but it doesn't work with my mom whose living with a really traditional entire of her life. Whenever you have read till this sentence, you can relize that this is one of all arguments we have, yes! it is an example!!!!
I’ve got so many thoughts going on in my head. The abovementioned muddling is complicated to be solved, and, unfortnately, I just can’t handle it for now. I can't express that how much it wastes my fuel. Perhaps time can cure me..........
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