Today is Friday of the first week in October 2022.
Yesterday was a bad day when the breaking news was reported about the gunshot man who was an ex cope came to a nursery to shoot and stab children teachers and parents there. this news brought to heartbreaking in society. there was 37 life lost in this tragedy. I fell really sympathized with this event as a mother who knows best about looking after a child, a pure life, an innocent life.
our family is suffering from the flu (Covid?). we don't know because I didn't take a test for all of us. the reason is that I don't want to know the result that might make a panic for my husband. I think he is not strong enough to know the bad news.so, I ignore to do so even though it has a high percentage to get Covid because we have been in close contact with the Chef and the Chef has close contact with Na who had confirmation of the positive result of Covid.
My children in school
last week P' Din's teacher told me that she has been seeing something wrong with P' Din. As I guess, she asked me permission to allow P' Din to test for autistic or not? she told me that P'Din doesn't socially interact properly with classmates even teachers. My idea is that he is a clever boy (bias), but he has social deficit skills. I am ok with the test I also hope that if the assumption comes true, I will provide specific support for him. however, this data shows the contrast. Since the school re-open, he has been getting candy and stickers 2-3 days a week. those rewards mean that he is the star of the day in some subjects like maths, English, and sports skills. This confirms my confidence that my son has not autistic but he is just special.
Dan is a good boy. He is good at Math. He has been trying to write times tables. He is eager to write times tables in a single morning before going to school. He makes me happy. I really love this moment in my life. He is also childish which is I am also willing to feel this moment as long as possible.
This time we go to bed together with 2-3 bedtime stories (same stories again and again that they never get bored). I believe that I am creating a special strong thread that nothing in this world can cut it. It functions to connect me and my sons together throughout my life span. When they grow up, I might pull up this thread when some of them fall or get lost somewhere. We were going to bed together every night. when they woke up in the morning both of them come to me on the bed to hug and kiss my big belly. It is such a good feeling.
I think a strong relationship between mother and child plays a crucial role as I am doing research on girls who get pregnant during adolescence. Regarding rough information, girls who experienced a negative relationship with their mom tend to have a worse direction in their life in terms of lack of a role model, lack of an appropriate mentor, and lack of support when those girls took something wrong. the dangerous thing is that when they went wrong, it has no any thread to pull them back. They are dismissed to go along in the river no one knows which one they would see first between a big crocodile opening its mouth and waiting for a poor victim to feed its tummy and a log that would save a life from being drawn.
I feel that girls or anyone else deserve to be loved by their families and among people's surroundings. If not, the defense mechanism will be going to work autonomically as mentioned in psychiatric school in several ways. for sure, even though there are 2 possibilities in the results, the negative outcome exceeds the positive one.
studying this issue offers a benefit to me in terms of early detection. This help me to aware of the importance of the family relationship and have a chance to try out the assumption about if a mom devotes herself to building up a strong child by spending her time with them, playing with them, and educating them when they are in the needed ages. I will deliver qualified products to society.
The last weekly self-reflection is about my study. My strength is that I am a durable fighter who hides the weakness of low speed. I work everyday 5-6 hours a day. I realized that I can't graduate in time. but the best thing I can do now is to maintain my mental status to keep going and never give up on what I am doing. I still enjoy reading and writing. This is a good sign, isn't it? I must look after 2 little lives in hand. To maintain a work-life balance, delayed graduation is unavailable for my conditions. However, I am trying my best to do so.
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