29 Oct 2023
I am the head chef of the Thai House restaurant in the UK. it is a wonderful experience here where I engage in a new challenge of my life far beyond the academic sphere. I have been working here for more than 3 years, starting as a starter chef assistant. Yesh it is so far so good when the day passed, my confidence was raised. I became a chef voluntarily after the real head chef wanted to take a holiday but no one works in this position after she made a huge attempt to search several months ago. so, I feel that it is not too hard to do so as I have collected experience for a long time. I decided to tell her that I could do this job for her for 5 weeks (5 days a week). The 29/08/23 was the first day. everything went through smoothly with help, care, and support from our team.วันพฤหัสบดีที่ 2 พฤศจิกายน พ.ศ. 2566
วันอังคารที่ 4 เมษายน พ.ศ. 2566
Almost 1 year of being here, the UK
Hello guys,
Today we had an argument about the misbehaving of the boys. I told them I would take them to Whitby Abbey because, as per the weather forecast, it would be a sunny day and nice weather to go out. They've already known that, but they insist on the time we should go. This made me crazy. I told them that because of this, I would cut the internet for 15 days throughout the school break. I hope it will change my son's behaviour to take a break from screens for a while.
วันศุกร์ที่ 24 กุมภาพันธ์ พ.ศ. 2566
The influx of happiness
I post this after thee meeting with my supervisors. since the last meeting, I found that I have been digging in the coding process of my project without taking any day out. so, today is the worth day that I deserve. in the meeting, in the first part, Moira did get much what I have said to her. however, after discussing and she has been questioning she relized that my development has far beyond she expected. unlike Clare, she is a thorough person who I felt that can catch up my messy thoughts.
After the meeting, they allowed me to start writing up. Ohhhh, it is surprised me, my messy project VS my messy brain. the encourage me to go to further steps. if you dare to write, just do it!!!
This is what I want to see in my study. supervisors have never dominated the learners. That's why the discoveries were emerged here, in the western.
วันพฤหัสบดีที่ 9 กุมภาพันธ์ พ.ศ. 2566
Sex exchange
social expectations
It is wide spread acceptance that men should provide and women should receive but reciprocate with sex. so, young people engage into romantic or sexual relationships expecting to receive something from there partners.
from health care perspective, transactional sex is considered to increasing risks of STIs and unplanned pregnancy. as well as the undesirable other issues such as sexual violence, coercions, and increasing into alcohol or illegal drug consumption in female adolescents. in addition, considering the power of genders, it is more detrimental to young women who has less power to negotiate use of family planning, condom use and weather and when to have sexual intercourse is advanced hampered.
วันจันทร์ที่ 30 มกราคม พ.ศ. 2566
Sup meeting/ power of the day
Today is the sup meeting.
As usual, I couldn't sleep in the night before the meeting. It is a horrible thing that I can't cope myself with this concern.
However, this day was a good day for me, and I had a chance to discuss with Clare, my co-supervisor, the data analysis of Pa. we discussed insight into the participants' surroundings, such as geography, cultures and norms.
This meeting shows the enormous progress in the data analysis process as I perceived the four (themes) in my initial data analysis. I was able to discuss the different ideas with the supervisor. This made me so proud of myself for discussing different ways of ideas.
First is "patriarchy".
second is "power."
third is "Autonomy."
the fort keyword is "stigma."
- Moreover, it discusses the hidden costs of healthcare services. Free does not mean absolutely free. In this issue, the question asked is if government health care services are available and increased chances of accessibility by offering contraceptives for free to adolescents aged under 19 years old. However, private clinics play an essential market share in the optional choice of healthcare services. Several reasons are taken into consideration which is the word "free" optional choice o tends to be a broader definition that is far beyond buying health services with "money". by this, it means that people value costs through
1. timing: waiting time for the services in government hospitals.
2. flexible services: negotiation of the services which are not rigid structuring in its services.
3. confidential issues; due to the quick services, it is less time to expose while waiting for the services.
4. Beliefs: the price tag guarantees the quality of services.
5. Cultures/ norms/ stigma: this is the place of checking in by the privileges.
6. A hassle system/complicated requirements as consent.
The deployment of contraceptive policies for female adolescents
Hospitals Family schools
- free access - broken home - free education
- free of charge
- the quality of the family planning clinic
fully information is given
how to deal with contraceptive side effects
girls herself
- lack of autonomy Socio- economy
- power - patriarchal society
- stigma - agriculturalist vs neo-liberalism
I think the Swiss cheese model is a simple metaphor
to visualise how adolescent pregnancy happens based on systems related
In this discussion, Clare also expanded the scope of looking at the problem of Thai society, patriarchy. Teaching sexual health at schools should be done/ by emphasising the male gender. If not, it is nonsense to attempt to solve problems as
วันพุธที่ 18 มกราคม พ.ศ. 2566
The tear on the war
Today I had a chance to talk with Hera's mom. Hera is considered the best friend of P' Dinn. P' Dinn has suffered in school regarding the language barrier. He needs more confidence in making new friends by speaking English. He separated himself from others by living alone with a book in some corners of the library. This was the notice I got from his class teacher. One day, after school, P' Din told me it had a newcomer boy in his class. The boy has sorrowful eyes and is very quiet. He couldn't speak English at all. P' Din had learned from the new boy that he was not alone in the world and couldn't be a fluent English speaker. I told my boy to make make a friendship with Hera. Of course. He did that.
The process of making a new friend in P' Dinn's version was just staying around Hera without saying any but never going away far from Hera. Naturally, Hera made sense of this meaning. Hera typed the word in his language the translate it into English as "Shall we become friends?" since then, they have become friends. Two weeks later, the class teacher, who is always concerned with the quiet of P' Dinn arranged to meet me after school. she said to me, tearing up, that "Pennthai's behaviours have changed after having a friend like Hera. I saw him dance, I saw his smiles, and I saw what I want to see in him". I felt the meaning of the teacher. Since I have known her, she has shown me she is sympathetic. So, it was not surprised me when she faced a boy like P' Dinn. I think my son is lucky to be around such kind people.
I realised that it was not only me keeping my eye on the boy and his mom every morning and evening on the way to school. Hera's mom has also been keeping her eye on our family. Then today is a good day for us to have a chance to talk with each other after taking the boys to school. Nasha, Hera's mom, said that Ukrainians have entered the UK under the Ukraine schemes. They are living with the UK hosts. While talking, I saw her sorrowful eyes, as P' Dinn used to see in Hera's eyes. I asked her how long she would stay here? The sad answer was that "I don't know". The explanation was pure out of the death of her mind that she and her son had to leave Ukraine due to the safety reason from the war. They had to move to another country to live with whom they hadn't known before, and they felt guilty about leaving their beloved husband. Because of the war's critical situation, Ukrainian men are not allowed to depart from the country. By this, it means that he is living in the battle of the war. I get into emotions with Nasha. I feel how much she has been suffering from the pain of leaving home to save Hera's life while leaving her beloved husband on the edge of death. If she had a chance to choose, the choices should not be like this. she deserves to live with her family as everyday life, isn't she? I also thought of the little boy, Hera, whose stories have been uncovered through the lens of P'Dinn. Wars cause many drawbacks. Whoever never be a winner from any war.
วันอาทิตย์ที่ 8 มกราคม พ.ศ. 2566
shame me
Today I want to share my shamed experience in the coding process. As I have discussed with my professor on my research project being done.
วันพุธที่ 9 พฤศจิกายน พ.ศ. 2565
Dan
Today, I plan to stay home because I felt so tired yesterday.
7.50 Maw came into my room to wake me up.
I told him back that I will not go to school today.
After that, the boy, Dan, ran into me and told me that
"mum, I know you will not go to school today. I don't want to go to school as well. Can I stay with you here? Will I be your friend at home? "
finally, I have to wake up, get dressed and go to school.
วันอังคารที่ 8 พฤศจิกายน พ.ศ. 2565
Din's poem
Last night after the bedtime story, Din told me that Mamy, Have you ever heard this poem...
" if you can't fly....you must run
if you can't run...you must walk
if you can't walk...you must crawl"
Me: If I can't crawl.....What could I do?
Din: You must sleep....^-^
วันพุธที่ 26 ตุลาคม พ.ศ. 2565
Inspiration books
มาลองคิดเล่นๆกันค่ะว่า คุณเคยอ่านหนังสือแล้ว มีหนังสือเล่มไหนที่เป็นแรงบันดาลใจให้คุณเปลี่ยนชีวิตของคุณบ้าง ช่วยแบ่งปันและเล่าประสบการณ์ให้ฟังใต้โพสต์หน่อยนะคะ
.
.
1. หนังสือชุด "เพชรพระอุมา"
.......ดิฉันตั้งใจอ่านหนังสือชุดนี้มากเพราะอ่านสนุกเร้าใจคิดเสมอว่าตัวเองเป็นคุณหญิงดาริน วราฤทธิ์ ผู้ที่มีสัดส่วน 36-24-36 ยิงปืนแม่น เก่งทั้งบู๊และบุ๋น (multi- skills) หนังสือชุดนี้ใช้เวลาทั้งหมดในการอ่านคือ 2 เดือนเศษๆ
2. หนังสือชุด "แดจังกึม"
......หนังสือชุดนี้ทำให้เราได้แตะ (touch)ถึงหัวใจของคนอื่น ได้เอามาใช้จริงในตอนที่ต้องจากบ้านมาไกลถึง 3 ครั้ง หรือแม้แต่ตอนที่อยู่ในบ้านเราเอง และตอนอยู่กับเพื่อนร่วมงาน ...เราสามารถใช้อาหารเป็นสื่อกลางเพื่อแสดงออกถึงความรักและห่วงใยความใส่ใจให้กับคนอื่นที่อยู่รอบข้างของเรา ตัวอย่างของการใส่ใจ เช่น เราชอบกินส้มตำเผ็ดมากแต่เมื่อไปกับเพื่อนที่กินเผ็ดไม่ได้ เรายอมที่จะสั่งอาหารที่รสไม่จัดจ้านแทน ...นี่เป็นตัวอย่างเบื้องต้นในการเรียนรู้จากหนังสือชุดนี้
3. หนังสือของผู้เขียนที่ชื่อคุณโจ ขออภัยจำชื่อหนังสือไม่ได้จริงๆ แต่เรื่องราวในเล่มพูดถึงผู้หญิงคนหนึ่งที่กำลังผ่อนบ้านอยู่ แต่โชคร้ายที่เกิดไฟไหม้บ้านของเธอ...วิกฤตชีวิตครั้งนั้นทำให้เธอเปลี่ยนตัวเอง จากคนที่ไม่เคยสนใจในเรื่องการบริหารจัดการเงินและการธนาคารเลย ต้องลุกขึ้นมาเรียนรู้เพื่อจะจัดการกับปัญหาที่เกิดขึ้นในชีวิต
.....ดิฉันถือว่าตัวเองโชคดีมากที่ได้มีโอกาสอ่านหนังสือเล่มนี้เพราะมันมาถูกที่ถูกเวลาพอดี เพราะเป็นช่วงที่เราทำงานใหม่ เราโชคดีที่ได้เรียนจากประสบการณ์ของคนที่ผ่านมาก่อนแล้วเอามาถ่ายทอดผ่านตัวหนังสือ ดิฉันได้เรียนรู้และเริ่มต้นบริหารจัดการเงินได้ในระดับที่ตนเองพึงพอใจ ไม่ได้มีมากแต่ก็สามารถที่จะทำให้ชีวิตมีอิสระทางการเงินเพียงพอที่จะเลือกทำอะไรที่สำคัญในชีวิตได้ เช่น การตัดสินใจ มาเรียนต่างประเทศครั้งนี้ ...ซึ่งต้องใช้เงินตั้งต้นไม่น้อยเลยทีเดียว
4. หนังสือชุด" แกะดำทำธุรกิจ" ของคุณประเสริฐ หนังสือชุดนี้ได้เปลี่ยนมุมมองชีวิตของดิฉันออกไปแบบหลุดกรอบมากเลยทีเดียว เป็นการนำแนวคิดที่สร้างโจทย์มาท้าทาย (challenge) กับชีวิตได้อย่างที่เราคิดไม่ถึง เมื่อเกือบ 10 ปีก่อน แนวคิดนี้ น่าจะจัดว่า "บ้า" แต่ใครจะรู้ว่าเมื่อทศวรรษถัดมามันคือสิ่งที่เกิดขึ้นจริงที่เราต้องเผชิญ อยากให้เพื่อนๆได้อ่านกันจังเลยค่ะ
.....
ณ ตอนนี้ดิฉันอยากจะกล่าวขอบคุณผู้แต่งหนังสือที่เป็นแรงบันดาลใจเหล่านี้
วันศุกร์ที่ 21 ตุลาคม พ.ศ. 2565
Din has changed?
Three weeks ago I have observed that Din changed in terms of repetitive behaviors. the first observation that sounded strange to me is that he always re-check a locked door when we went out both a house door and a car. I realized this symptom when I did the first screen for autism which Din's teacher asked me to do so.
I have kept my eyes on this behavior.
วันอังคารที่ 18 ตุลาคม พ.ศ. 2565
Cashless society
วันเสาร์ที่ 15 ตุลาคม พ.ศ. 2565
Adolescent centred concept 2
Today is Saturday
I'm trying to finish the book on adolescent pregnancy. This is the second day of this task. Let's go.
Yesterday, I mentioned the partly impacts of adolescent motherhood, but today I will learn about how to write academically.
Social problems of adolescent pregnancy
1. The disruption of schooling and socioeconomic disadvantage
- disruption from school
- bullying
- boredom
- difficulties with particular subjects or work in general.
2. Health risks
adolescent childbearing associated with increased health risks.
- pregnancy increated HT
- premature labor
- anemia
- small babies
- neonatal morbidity or mortality.
3. Poor child outcomes
"It is equally plausible...that timing of parenting itself "does not cause children's poor outcomes. instead, background factors such as poverty that select women for early childbearing may also select their children into experiencing negative outcomes. Thus, correlations between early parenting and children's poor outcome may be noncausal.
- maladaptive relationships between mother and child
- high risk of behavioral problems
- parent-child interaction is influenced by a range of factors such as
* Financial
* Social
* Emotional
* Social support resources available to the mother.
4. Welfare and demographic issues.
adolescent pregnancy has been a focused issue because of the potential for welfare dependency.
" Many studies suggested that teenage fertility is a key mediator in the intergenerational transmission of worklessness, welfare uptake, and out-of-wedlock with and other "deviant" social norms from the generation of such populations to the next. such research did appear to be informed by a fear of a growing underclass"
From the demographic viewpoint, teenage pregnancy is one of contributing factors to population growth. In developing countries, the increase in the population represents a major obstacle t economic development. In particular, the proportion of the population being under 20, and the low ratio of workers to non-workers creates what is called "a burden of dependency".
the concern with the "growing underclass" is expressed more in terms of welfare dependency.
วันศุกร์ที่ 14 ตุลาคม พ.ศ. 2565
Adolescent centred concept 1
Modern adolescent needs.
“Meeting the needs of the modern adolescent required a modern method. Medicine,
eugenics, psychology, education- all of these modern fields promised to help
the adolescent meet the inevitable struggle with sexuality…Having created adolescence,
they were bound to manage it”
- revolute the old health system? partly or a whole?
- new survey for finding the answers about what actually adolescent want or expectation to see in the health service (some areas contain nuance of specific characteristics in detail)?
It is the same meaning as “patients’ centered”. Practically, we still remain
getting stuck with the traditional system.
Sex education goals
1. Does little to delay the initiation of sex.
2. Improve the usage of contraception.
3. Prevent unwanted pregnancy or
4. Reduce exposure to STIs
"about developing young people's skills so that they make informed choices about their behavior, and feel confident to competent about acting on these choices. It is widely accepted that young people have a right to sex education, partly, because it is a means by which they are helped to protect themselves against abuse, exploitation, unintended pregnancies, STIs, and AIDS." (AVERT n.d)
The educator can.....use this basic material, flavor it with the particular community's moral and cultural viewpoints, and so provide adolescents secure basis from which to develop their own responsible, fulfilling, and personalized lifestyle. (Greathead et al. 1998: xv)
It wastes time when the educator is conscious of projects the student's future.
So, they must try not to project those beliefs and values onto others. This is extremely difficult, but in doing so a young person must be given the opportunity to make an informed and responsible decision. more trusting relationships will develop and these will improve decision-making skills and allow a more informed choice regarding sexual activity; they will need you, the educator, to be open to discussion, without imposing your values and beliefs on them.
Bare in mind that
The adolescent is not an adult. it refers to the deficiencies of adolescents outlined in a number of places.
" This process of sexual decision-making is more difficult during adolescence, however, owing to factors like the imbalance of hormones, lack of decision-making skills, traditional risk-taking behavior, bombardment by sexual images by the media, and a belief that adulthood only starts once a sexual activity is experienced." .....the choice of what to do when the pregnancy is confirmed is too serious a matter for the level of maturity of most teenagers. (Greathead et al. 1998: page 154)
The role of friends and peers.
The depiction of the peer group as providing unreliable information and being a negative influence in the sexual decision-making process.
the result of not providing sexual education is that they seek answers from friends ill-equipped to provide correct factual answers. the group may put pressure on the non-conformity, e.g. ridicule, and rejection.
peers presented here as providing inaccurate information and as pressurizing each other into inappropriate behavior.
The consequences of adolescent pregnancy the outcomes are slightly negative.
The baby aspect, according to young motherhood is immaturity. they tend to have several problematic issues for their baby due to
- lack of ability to cope with problems
- lack of parenting skills
- the impact of aspects of patenting such as
* mother-infant interaction
* attitudes to child disciplines
* development of realistic expectations of infant behavior and development.
for these reasons, a child is at high risk of child maltreatment among younger parents e.g. being abused, abandoned, or neglected.
problematic for young mothers themselves because of their lack of skills or maturity.
1. Physical and mental health; postpartum blue, stress, anxiety.
2. Social aspects; separation, divorce.
3. Economic aspects; after giving birth it is undeniable that a young mother is bombardment by the burden of looking after her baby. Whereas, she cannot ask for money from their family as usual. There is real life when they are facing economic difficulties such as
- They are unskilled labor. (lack of work competency)
- They are too young and cannot legally engage in labor markets. (unemployment)
- lack of life skills (e.g patient capability to work). these put pressure on them to have risk-taking behavior such as
- Engage in dark businesses like illegal drug-seller, and sexual traffic.
- To escape the pain from the failure of problem-solving in the real world. some turn to drug use because they see it as a shortcut to happiness. some do self-harm.
วันพุธที่ 12 ตุลาคม พ.ศ. 2565
Write the report of a case
Dear Supervisors,
I hope both of you are fine via this email. I would like to report the urgent
case of my participant.
after the meeting. I immediately contacted the participant to talk to her.
As for her background, the participant is now 15 years old. There are several sensitive
issues to provoke her to have a self-harm idea in the last week. She is in a period of a few weeks (10 weeks) after
delivery (8th August 2022). Her baby was born prematurely and received
resuscitation then passed away in the seventh week after birth. This situation
affected her in various aspects, for example,
- Relationship; now she is divorced from her
boyfriend.
-
She was prohibited to go to
her boyfriend’s house where the baby’s funeral was there.
-
She is being stigmatized by
her boyfriend’s family as a bad mother.
-
She is also being
stigmatized by her grandmother in this situation which causes her to run away
from home.
The participant went to her father’s house in another province.
It seemed to be that she would not receive a welcome from the new wife of her
father and her grandmother to be there. She told me that she has a new
boyfriend who made a promise to her that he will collect her in the next few
days to live together in his house and build a new future together. This plays as the only hope that she might
think she is being wanted by people around her. However, the man whom she
called her new boyfriend was not picking her up as a promise because his wife
caught him that he is cheating on her with the participant. His wife had called
her to stop connecting with her husband. At this time, she was confused about
her life and had a self-harm idea as she noticed me last week.
After discussing with both of you in the last meeting, I was allowed to contact
healthcare providers in Thailand to refer the participant to the healthcare
system.
In the first action, I planned to implement 2 approaches, counseling and planning
to refer the participant to the healthcare system
1. I did the counseling with the
participant. I found that the participant has been self-recovering by talking
with friends and opening herself to chat with other boys via Facebook. She said
that there are many men, more than 10, who come to talk with her through
Facetime this such many men make her have no time to think of the man as called
her new boyfriend.
2. I asked her permission to get a home visit from a
community nurse team, but she was not allowed to do so. She gave the reason that
this is not her own house. If the nurse team come to the house, it would bring
a big problem for her, then she might get some effect from her stepmother or
grandmother.
3. I offered her to go to the nearest primary care center. However,
she denied the offer. She told me that she has not the self-harm idea anymore
since she has many men to talk to via Facebook. And she has a plan to go back
to her own house in Kalasin on the 13th of October, Tomorrow.
This case is challenging. Personally, I think that as evidenced by her posts on
Facebook and the ways she thoughts and speaks out, she has no suicide or self-harm
ideas. But she put herself in many ways of risk-taking especially sexual behaviors.
As I connected with the healthcare providers in both 2 areas that get involved
with the case. The staff is prompt to work with that, but the big obstacle is that
the participant does not give permission to do anything with her. This is about
human rights and regal related issues.
I write this report to inform you that as the projection for this participant,
she has minimal risk to do self-harm in the short term, but she engages in high-risk
behaviors. For this, it means that I am not sure about my role and my responsibility
to deal with this participant. It is, therefore, could you please give me a
recommendation?
วันศุกร์ที่ 7 ตุลาคม พ.ศ. 2565
Tragedy in a nursery
Today is Friday of the first week in October 2022.
Yesterday was a bad day when the breaking news was reported about the gunshot man who was an ex cope came to a nursery to shoot and stab children teachers and parents there. this news brought to heartbreaking in society. there was 37 life lost in this tragedy. I fell really sympathized with this event as a mother who knows best about looking after a child, a pure life, an innocent life.
our family is suffering from the flu (Covid?). we don't know because I didn't take a test for all of us. the reason is that I don't want to know the result that might make a panic for my husband. I think he is not strong enough to know the bad news.so, I ignore to do so even though it has a high percentage to get Covid because we have been in close contact with the Chef and the Chef has close contact with Na who had confirmation of the positive result of Covid.
My children in school
last week P' Din's teacher told me that she has been seeing something wrong with P' Din. As I guess, she asked me permission to allow P' Din to test for autistic or not? she told me that P'Din doesn't socially interact properly with classmates even teachers. My idea is that he is a clever boy (bias), but he has social deficit skills. I am ok with the test I also hope that if the assumption comes true, I will provide specific support for him. however, this data shows the contrast. Since the school re-open, he has been getting candy and stickers 2-3 days a week. those rewards mean that he is the star of the day in some subjects like maths, English, and sports skills. This confirms my confidence that my son has not autistic but he is just special.
Dan is a good boy. He is good at Math. He has been trying to write times tables. He is eager to write times tables in a single morning before going to school. He makes me happy. I really love this moment in my life. He is also childish which is I am also willing to feel this moment as long as possible.
This time we go to bed together with 2-3 bedtime stories (same stories again and again that they never get bored). I believe that I am creating a special strong thread that nothing in this world can cut it. It functions to connect me and my sons together throughout my life span. When they grow up, I might pull up this thread when some of them fall or get lost somewhere. We were going to bed together every night. when they woke up in the morning both of them come to me on the bed to hug and kiss my big belly. It is such a good feeling.
I think a strong relationship between mother and child plays a crucial role as I am doing research on girls who get pregnant during adolescence. Regarding rough information, girls who experienced a negative relationship with their mom tend to have a worse direction in their life in terms of lack of a role model, lack of an appropriate mentor, and lack of support when those girls took something wrong. the dangerous thing is that when they went wrong, it has no any thread to pull them back. They are dismissed to go along in the river no one knows which one they would see first between a big crocodile opening its mouth and waiting for a poor victim to feed its tummy and a log that would save a life from being drawn.
I feel that girls or anyone else deserve to be loved by their families and among people's surroundings. If not, the defense mechanism will be going to work autonomically as mentioned in psychiatric school in several ways. for sure, even though there are 2 possibilities in the results, the negative outcome exceeds the positive one.
studying this issue offers a benefit to me in terms of early detection. This help me to aware of the importance of the family relationship and have a chance to try out the assumption about if a mom devotes herself to building up a strong child by spending her time with them, playing with them, and educating them when they are in the needed ages. I will deliver qualified products to society.
The last weekly self-reflection is about my study. My strength is that I am a durable fighter who hides the weakness of low speed. I work everyday 5-6 hours a day. I realized that I can't graduate in time. but the best thing I can do now is to maintain my mental status to keep going and never give up on what I am doing. I still enjoy reading and writing. This is a good sign, isn't it? I must look after 2 little lives in hand. To maintain a work-life balance, delayed graduation is unavailable for my conditions. However, I am trying my best to do so.
วันพฤหัสบดีที่ 29 กันยายน พ.ศ. 2565
I'm on my way
In these week, there are so many things happening with me.
In family, as these time it is transitional seasons from summer to winter which called "autumn". but in the real life is that this is a very cold weather for us who are from a tropical country. Unfortunately, the kids had been suffering with a flu. Then, me and lastly my husband. This situation makes me spending a lots of energy because not only to look after the kids, study hard, but working for Thaihouse required to run by me. I feel that I have such a working hard in many aspects when compared to other PHD friends who have just one thing to keep focusing on. However, I relised that being sad helps nothing. the best solution is keep doing, keep walking. in the mid of the week, i picked up my son in the school. Din said that his teacher wants to talk to me. i know that what will be happen. the teacher said that the school team need to discuss to me about Din to find out the ways to support him. At that time I feel like I am being strike. I suddenly run out of energy. I want to cry but have such very dry eyes. while going home, d she pulled my thoughts back with her nice words.
I asked Din what else happened in school today? he said nothing. I were unconscious, i shouted at him "Why don't do know what is going on with you?" .............then it is silence.......
I heard Din sobbing, he was crying and saying that ....what the teacher talked to you mom?
I said nothing.......I told him I need time out to coping myself.
Regarding to the study, my plan is that finishing the 2 interviews by the end of this month, but the problem is the difficulty to recruit the rest of participants. I want to work on the transcribing, reading about social theories, and working on the initial analysis, but nothing has been done.
However, I am trying to keep in the educational sphere. meanwhile, I am trying to take part as a mother.
I am setting my schedule as the normal people do. To sleep at the night, have a breakfast in the morning. take the kids to school, and pick them home then play with them teach homework to them . I spend 6 hours a day in my study, but the effectiveness is not entire in the 6 hours. I have been doing a slow progress of the study. this is very disappointed me. Nevertheless, for now I do my best to keep life- work balancing. I am being tested with the difficult life- questions. But, i have to fight with them.
วันเสาร์ที่ 24 กันยายน พ.ศ. 2565
Sport inspirations
The reasons why I keep running? I’m trying to put this into my routine.
วันพฤหัสบดีที่ 22 กันยายน พ.ศ. 2565
A guy
I get stuck with an appropriate thin in my head. I want to forget it, but I can not. I hate this emotion.
วันอาทิตย์ที่ 18 กันยายน พ.ศ. 2565
memo with my participants
The phenomenon now is I have seen the posts from some of my participant
1. Suti
her son is 7 months old. On 18/07/2022 I found her post that her son is in a hospital. it looks like he had a head injury due to having a bandage entire his shaved head and raccoon eyes. Yesterday Sutima (Fern) sent a message to me "Hi sister, are you knowing any loan sharks? because I am in financial difficulties. I have no money to buy milk for my son. I am really desperate"
I replied to her: "I don't know any loan sharks"
2. Steam
She sent a message to me to borrow my money on 7 August. The reason was that she has only 100 Bath to live for 2 weeks before the coming up salary. She has no money for food.
I replied to her that I also have no money for her. I am in the UK I must strictly control the spending because it is not our country, I am in danger if no money here. Since then, she has never sent anything to me.
I hope that this soft tone is the best for me to say "no".
3. (case 1)
This girl was the first interviewed. One week later she lend me money 200 Bath on Monday. She said that she will return after receiving the money for her hire on the coming up Wednesday. I transferred to her immediately without asking the reason. by this, it means that I thoroughly thought about I won't get my money back., but I want to test the honesty and responsibility of this girl. I felt sympathized with her due to her difficult situation, and I want to want to give her a hand if I can. the result is until today, I have not never heard anything from her.
4. M (C13)
This participant represents multi- sectors of social problems. Her timeline is not more than expected. at the first talk, she gave birth to a health-conditional baby aged 1 month who has been admitted to the hospital since born. So, this participant views the world in the same way as she was single.
13/9/22 Interviewing
15/9/22 She sent a photo of her baby to me. I replied by sending a heart emoji.
16/9/22 She sent a photo of her baby in a realized hospital. In my experience, I realized that it is a community hospital. this means that her baby gets better from the illness, and it is referred back to the community hospital for recovery and planning to discharge. This photo implies that the participant must 100% of her time staying with her baby. I predict her situation from now on. This might be a life-changing ever for her and change her worldview.
On the same day, she sent messages to me to emotionally drain me about she is tired. she must take responsibility for the baby alone without any help from her husband.
- "It is like I am only with my baby"
- "It is like I have no husband even I have"
- "my spending is from my own money, I have a husband though. I still have a husband for what?"
I am trying to limit my response to her because it is out of my position as a researcher, but as a human, I told her to keep calm.
On 17/9/22 she sent a message to me "we broke up"
I: reply nothing
During 15- 17/9/22, she posted on FB around 2-3 posts/ day to describe her feeling about lacking of support. she is tiring. She is being down. All were posted via satirical Facebook pages.
I still keep silent. I am in the rush to transcribe this case to consult my supervisors on how to do with this situation.
